Let’s be honest…we have all had at least one or two sex dreams in our lives. There is no reason to be embarrassed. They are actually the most common dreams people have. After waking up, have you ever wondered what did the sex dream mean? Why did you have it? We have wondered about these questions and decided to do a little research to get to the bottom of these dreams. Here is what we found:

#1 Dreams are a way for us to reflect on our lives.

Dreams give your inner thoughts a chance to play out in a safe space. A sex dream could mean you are reflecting on external desires or answers to your relationship.

#2 Sex dreams aren’t necessarily about sex.

However, if you are in a dry spell, that dry spell could actually lead to sexual dreams. It’s a way for the mind to satisfy physical impulses. Your brain knows when your body is in need of a sexual release.

#3 Sex dreams could be tied to a conflict in your life.

Also any sex dreams that are tied to aggression or being extremely dominant can mean you have other control issues going on in your day-to-day life with a relationship or with work.

#4 According to Bustle, these are the main causes of sex dreams:

  • Changes in your waking life
  • Attraction to the person in your dream
  • Lack of sex
  • Admiration – The person could have qualities you would like to have
  • Creativity – You might have an urge to be more creative

#5 Here are your sex dreams broken down by meaning.

  • You are having sex with someone who you definitely find inappropriate: you could be releasing the temptation or the feelings.
  • You are not able to perform. You could be feeling powerless in other areas of your life.
  • You have sex in public. You could be feeling vulnerable or that a secret is going to be exposed in front of others.
  • You have sex with your ex. You could just have had a reminder in your life of them that caused them to show up in your dream. However, if they are the star of your dream, you might need to reflect more on what that might be about.
  • You have sex with your first love. If it’s been a long time since you have seen this person, it’s more about what they represent: passion and excitement. If your current relationship is lacking these things, it could be a reminder for you that you need to bring excitement back into your current relationship.
  • You have sex with someone famous. You could have a desire to feel special or important. It can also mean that you desire wealth and fame. This type of sex dream is about desire because sex is about acting on desire.
  • You have abusive sex. You could have been violated in waking life or you could be carrying a painful wound that needs to be addressed with a professional. It is worth exploring these thoughts to make sure nothing happened to you in the past.
  • You have ecstatic sex. This can be seen as a powerful meditation. Please know that you can feel this way in waking life.
  • You have sex with a stranger. It’s not about the stranger. It’s about you. The mystery lover symbolizes some part of yourself that you are trying to get to know and it could be that you want to become more assertive in your life.
  • You have sex with someone of the same sex and you are normally not attracted to other women in that way. Same sex dreams are very common. It’s not really about the sex, it’s about what that person represents to you. What qualities does that person represent? Are they strong? Kind? Caring? It might mean you are working on having these qualities as well.

If you have any of these sex dreams that bring up pain or trauma, consider speaking to a therapist if you don’t feel ok. If you have some of the good sex dreams, try journaling about what they bring up for you. Happy dreaming!