Hey girl, yes, you; I know life is hectic and stressful, and with the holidays approaching, everything gets even crazier, but here is a reminder to…

Stop, take a deep breath, and treat yourself with kindness.

As I was wrapping up my last month’s amazing Bumble Mental health awareness event. I wish all of you Kali ladies could have been there! I’ve realized so many things I wanted to share all over social media in hopes it would reach and touch at least one person out there who’s struggling with finding time for herself to fall in love with herself. I know this sounds cheesy, but honestly, girl, we need to “love ourselves first”.

Self-care has been a hot topic lately and, although, we all preach about it in our Instagram posts and mention techniques such as journaling, meditation, eating ice cream in front of a Netflix marathon, drinking a warm cup of pumpkin spice almond milk, manifesting, crystal reading, etc….how many of us actually know what self-care means for us? Maybe journaling makes you want to do “anything else but that”, and maybe drawing a bath sounds awful & you never get the much needed relaxation time, and you think to yourself, “I am so bad at self-care, I need to do this everyday and I’ll feel so much better in a week/month”.

Learn what self-care means to you.

Well, girl, let me tell ya – you’re not bad at self-care and it won’t get better in a week/month if you keep on doing things you think you should be doing just because every damn article mentions it. You need to find what works for YOU. Trying out different techniques is always a good thing, but before you embark on that journey, ask yourself, what is it that REALLY makes you happy?

There is no good/perfect/bad/terrible answer. It can be anything from drinking your morning coffee & watching funny cat videos. It could be cooking a meal or even singing in the shower. Start with that. Do that more often. In fact, as you’re reading this, get up and go do that. And then repeat it every single day for the next week. After a week has passed, reflect and check with yourself – did it make a difference in your life? Did it contribute to you feeling less stressed, more relaxed, and overall, happier?

It probably did, but if it didn’t, and this is the most important part, treat yourself with kindness, and find something else that you enjoy! Don’t beat yourself up about it and think you’re “bad at self-care”, and go back to forcing yourself to like/enjoy things you actually, really don’t!

Just because someone meditates everyday doesn’t make her/him any better at self-care than you – they just found what works for them 🙂


#1 Go back to your inner self and think about something else that makes you happy.

#2 Then go & do it. By repeating this process over and over again (no matter if you found that something works and something doesn’t), you are actually compiling your own self-care list and building your self-care rituals which when combined, can actually do wonders!

Why is treating yourself with kindness so important?

First and foremost, how do we expect to know if someone else is treating us wrong if we don’t know how we treat ourselves? By finding those moments of happiness and contentment, we acknowledge those feelings, and want them translated in every relationship we have (family, friends, significant other, work). When someone makes us feel amazing and loved, we want to keep on spending time with that person – that’s human nature. But, what we want to be able to do, is also feel that way when we’re alone. Don’t let your happiness depend on other people, you have to make sure you know how to experience those same feelings on your own. Only then, will you be able to really appreciate when someone else makes you feel that way too.

Secondly, today’s life is so busy & hectic, we more often than not, find ourselves in situations where a whole week has passed, and we didn’t do anything significant (or anything at all) for ourselves, and then we use the weekend to go overboard, completely regretting it when Monday morning comes rolling in….just to do the same thing the following week. Is that really something you can put in the under “treating yourself with kindness” box? Yeah, I don’t think so either. We all talk about living in the moment, but would you call this doing so? Does living for FriYay count as living in the moment? Treating ourselves with kindness and actually doing something that makes us happy every single day, makes us appreciate all the way-too-early-Mondays, Mondayest Tuesdays, how-is -it-only-Wednesdays, and even those cmon-you-should-have-been-friday-Thursdays. Every day is a blessing, and by waiting on the weekend to let ourselves go, we end up losing 5 days of our lives every single week. Think about that.

Thirdly, it feels amazing, ok? Let’s just leave it at that. Getting our endorphin kick is exactly what we need to be able to face everything life throws at us. From that crazy guy who cuts us off in traffic to that rude cashier in Whole Foods; managing to stay calm and not raise our cortisol levels too high up depends on us – we can control it by simply reprogramming our minds. And how can we do that? By introducing more self-care into our lives 🙂 If we spend more time on making ourselves feel better and happier, we simply won’t want to spend our energy on creating stress & drama 🙂

And lastly, this one ties into the previous one pretty nicely – it’s healthy. Lower cortisol levels equal less stress and anxiety, balanced blood pressure and glucose levels, better sleep, low inflammation and better immune response; not to mention, less fights with your loved ones, and more time for fun, laughter, new connections and opportunities.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, carve out the time to find what makes you happy – go do it, and then keep on doing it until it becomes your I-don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it-routine. Treat yourself with kindness girl, because you’re worth it! (not a Loreal plug, I swear :))

XOX, Karla Tafra

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