Lately, I have been spending so much time thinking about the concept of time. I have so many different experiences that change my perspective of time, mainly surrounding loss. I’ve lost loved ones in different ways. Some being through a fight, break up, or even death. They say, “Time heals all wounds” but does it really?
My dog, Emma passed away a couple of months ago. The first month was excruciatingly hard. I lost 20 pounds and couldn’t get myself to laugh for even a minute. People would consistently comfort me and let me know that with time, things would get better. It has now been 2 months since she left us, and I still cry every time I think about her, which is often.
Emma was not the first love I lost. Both my grandma and my grandpa passed away, and although I missed and mourned them terribly, my healing process was very different. Time seemed to help more with those losses, but it also could have been because they weren’t a constant in my everyday life. Losing my dog who was always by my side in my day-to-day life, compared to my grandparents who I saw every so often was a different type of pain. Could time really heal this?
The same question lingers for my first love. I was in love with him for years, but decided to end it after a stupid fight. We were on and off again for a while after that until he told me he couldn’t trust me anymore and cut things off for good. I was devastated. People told me that time would make everything better, but I found myself spending all my time thinking of the “what ifs” or comparing other men to him. Instead of time healing me, time may have morphed my mind. Years have passed and I spent so much time reflecting on our relationship. I look back and feel like I was too immature at the time. If we had been together after my personal growth, things would have been perfect. Is this because we both needed the time to heal as individuals, or is this because it’s been too much time that I forgot about all of his actions that hurt and broke me?
Personally, the only thing that I have felt time can heal is my anger. I am the type of person who gets mad, hurt, and upset easily. However, if you give me time to cool off, I get over the conflict very easily. Like most of us, I need to vent about my feelings, but 2 hours later I realize it’s not worth a fight. Is this a positive or negative outcome though? I haven’t been able to figure that out yet. A close friend of mine and I, both hotheads, got into a fight about a year ago and haven’t talked since. In hindsight, the fight was petty, but I think we let too much time go causing the loss of a 23 year friendship.
One of the scariest things about time is that you can’t control it. You can’t turn back time, you can’t change the “what ifs”, nor can you stop someone from aging. I have so many memories that I wish I could go back to. Some memories I want to relive and some because I regret them so much. If I could only hold my dog one last time, tell my grandma how much I love her, or say I am sorry to the boy I let down. What do you think? Does time heal all wounds?
5 Ways that Time Can Heals Wounds:
- Take time to reflect on what happened and process the pain. Journaling is a great tool for this.
- Taking time away from a conversation to cool down from anger can help healing.
- Take time to focus on the positives of a situation. Write a list of those positive points.
- Take time to think about how to better handle the situation
- You can grow and find new positives in your life
Written By: Rachel Hope of The Concrete Blonde