There he was. Across the bar to my left. The last time I saw him we had no idea it would be the last time. But now, he was with his friends, holding a cold beer with a huge smile on his face, and he was on my radar.
I froze. I panicked. I smiled. I felt every emotion at once. I stopped. I walked towards him. I stopped. I walked back. What was the last thing I said to him? What will the first thing I say to him be? Should I say anything at all? My friend told me not to, but I did.
I walked up to him, and before he saw me, his friends did. They all looked like deer in headlights. I started to shake. Then he finally made eye contact. I couldn’t find words to say, so I just waved.
I always pictured this moment in my head. I played out how it would go a million times, but there he was, in the flesh and I was speechless. I still wasn’t sure how he was going to react. We ended things as friends, but was he angry? Was he hurt? Was he relieved? Was he happy? At first glance, he looked cold but then he got up, walked over, and gave me a huge hug. I took a deep breath.
It’s amazing how you could spend everyday with someone, call them your best friend and then become fast strangers. He knew everything about me. He knew what haunted me from my past, scared me about my future, my tickle spots, the curves of my body, what makes me tick, what makes me smile, but now we know nothing. I didn’t unfollow him from any social media. It’s funny how that’s how you can keep tabs on people nowadays. He didn’t post a lot though and he definitely unfollowed me, especially after I started dating again. Standing in front of me, he seemed like a totally new person.
I was always the outgoing, bubbly, overly friendly one and he was more of the quiet, timid, shy but polite one. We were polar opposites, which ultimately led to our break up. Nothing bad happened between us. He was and still is the nicest guy, but we wanted different things for our future. Now, he’s standing in front of me and I was the one at a loss for words.
He definitely held his own. He was smiling, super personable and led the conversation confidentially. I was taken back by how easy this seemed, yet I was still so nervous I found myself stumbling for words. At one point, his friend came up and said “Hi Rachel, it’s been a minute!” and then asked him if he wanted to accompany him to go get a drink. I knew he was trying to save him, and said “Feel free to go if you want”, but he stayed.
We chatted a little bit more about what we were up to and made some jokes about our past. The entire conversation probably lasted about 5 minutes, but I felt like I got everything I needed from it. Of course, I walked away with a ton of different emotions. I winced at some of the things I said. I regretted forgetting to ask about other things. Ultimately, I felt happy. I felt like I got my closure. It felt so good for me to see him so happy and accomplished with his life. Selfishly, it sort of cemented the fact that I am not a horrible person and could still be on good terms with my ex. Ultimately, it left me feeling that we made a good decision to move on from each other. From his kindness, he reminded me that I deserved the best, and even though we were not soul mates, I deserve a guy to treat me as good as he did. Everyone deserves that.
5 Tips For Running Into An Ex:
- Stay Calm!!
- Be friendly…remember….you loved each other once 🙂
- Be Confident.
- Don’t focus on the past.
- Remember everything happens for a reason.
By: Rachel Hope of The Concrete Blonde