We are sure you have heard this before, but the sexiest organ in the human body is the brain. We know it sounds silly, but it’s true. With this newfound awareness, it could lead to the best sex you’ve ever had. And you don’t even have to spend a ton of money on a new sex toy or a sexy outfit…unless you want to of course.

A Brown University study showed that women who participated in a 12-week mindfulness course became more aroused faster by sexual stimuli than women who didn’t take the course. The men in the study were aroused by the pictures either way. Researchers found that mindfulness training may help women become more “in tune” with their body sensations. It also helped reduce negative thoughts like self-judgment, depression, and anxiety. These types of thoughts have been found to inhibit sexual functioning.

That’s good news for the ladies. Women are especially prone to getting sexually bored in long term relationships, according to research. Honestly, everyone at times can get distracted by stress, a lack of confidence, and sexual monotony, so mindful sex is a good idea no matter what. Where do you start to have more mindful sex? Right here!

1 – Focus on your body throughout the day outside of the bedroom.

Try to focus on daily physical sensations. For instance, are your shoulders tense after a long day at the office? Does the sun on your face feel good on your walk to work? How does the cool breeze on your face feel during your evening run? A study in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that people who are struggling with arousal reported feeling more sexually reactive if they stayed mindful during daily mundane activities. Noticing and engaging in that awareness regularly can prep your body for better sex.

2 – Give yourself over to physical pleasure during sex.

This is the most important and sometimes the most difficult part. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD! Instead of focusing on your racing thoughts focus on your body’s sensations. This can unlock heightened intensity. Try to focus on your partner’s lips on your neck, how your skin feels when your partner touches it, and so on. It’s important to not judge or shame yourself about whatever feels good or doesn’t. A University of Florida/University of Missouri report suggests that consciously remaining solely in the moment during sex can increase your desire, arousal, satisfaction, and overall sexual functioning.

3 – Don’t obsess about what you are doing right or wrong.

If you do find yourself sidetracked by thinking of what you need to get at the grocery store or if you find yourself thinking about if you are performing adequately, take a deep breath, acknowledge those thoughts, and then let them go. Use your breath to get back into the moment. At the same time, be kind to yourself.

4 – Try a mindful touching exercise with your partner to get closer to each other.

Try taking turns giving each other a back rub in a relaxing environment without distractions. Concentrate on the sensations and feelings that come up for you. Afterward, discuss with your partner what you felt and ways that it could improve your physical intimacy. This has been shown to create strong feelings of mutual affection in couples. Your libido and your partner will thank you later.

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