If Nicki Minaj demands orgasms every time, so should all of us. She famously said in her Cosmopolitan feature, “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.” reminding women that they’re entitled to an orgasm – every time.
Similar to the pay gap, the orgasm gap is one of the most stubborn yet least talked about forms of gender inequality. If you’re having difficulty experiencing orgasm during sexual intercourse, you are not alone. The statistics are staggering:
- Only 25% of women have an orgasm from intercourse while 95% of men always have an orgasm from sex (this is a statistic from Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd from Indiana University)
- Men experience 3 orgasms for every 1 that women experience.
- College women have only 50% of the amount of orgasms as men do on repeat hookups and only a 1/3 of the time on the first time hooking up. After collecting 12,925 surveys from undergraduates from 17 universities, it was found that men were twice as likely to orgasm across all of them.
So what’s the deal? Are men just biologically engineered to receive more pleasure than women ? Do we just have to accept that our bodies aren’t built to orgasm as much as men ? According to researchers, the answer is no. Our bodies are perfectly capable of orgasming.
As a society, we praise and encourage men who are successful in their sexual conquests while women are slut-shamed from an early age for being sexually promiscuous. While girls are being bullied for being sexually active or curious, boys are already being instilled with a sense of entitlement to sexual pleasure. Men are able to joke about porn and masturbation openly without fear of judgement whereas female pleasure remains taboo. With studies showing that only 38% of women regularly masturbate, compared to 96% of men, it’s no surprise that women have a poor understanding of their own bodies and sexuality. While sex positivity is on the rise, there isn’t time to just wait around for a cultural shift.
Men consider pleasurable sex to be vaginal intercourse, a notion reinforced by porn and the actors’ immediate and obnoxiously loud climaxes. And more often than not, the man’s pleasure comes first as his lack of ejaculation would mean the sex is incomplete. But only 25% of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone, which means focus needs to be made on the center of female pleasure, the clitoris.
Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd, the author of The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution explains that what gives a woman an orgasm is clitoral stimulation. It’s the center of their orgasmic function. The clitoris has the same tissue as a penis. In embryo, the penis and the clitoris is made from the same organ.
Being able to ask for what we want in the bedroom is not only a step towards a better sex life and overall happiness but also a step towards gender equality. The female orgasm deserves just as much as attention as the male orgasm.
Written By: Andrea Lee, @organicbeautylover